how. why. what. well ?

Questions and full of questions filled in my mind. & sorry blog, i left you alone here until today. Was kinda busy(actually lazy) yeah.

Was audi-ing peacefully, then laosam send me a text, saying that thr's smth wrong and he's gonna cry soon. I'm like wtf and she's alr on the way to KL enjoying the ride talking with friends and all that. Currently, literally comforting him, hoping his friends will quickly go to him and give him some advice. He's really a joker, a good person, good boyfriend. My damn sis just won't fucking appreciate it. Now, to see him being like that, i somehow feel sad too ..

I don't even have the mood to play now.

anyway, i can't say too much too. The most i can do is to assure him, telling him there's nothing wrong first. Wait for her to fucking come back and have a good talk. She's really doing it overboard. Even an idiot knows what to do.

Let's don't talk about that couple, i said i won't handle it, or care so much. Else i'm just getting myself into trouble, though i can't stand to see anymore. Whatever huh.

Well, this few days, passed.. peacefully. Kinda.

There that L go with his nonsense again, and it's like.. i don't know how to say but i'm just bwg. However i realize maybe i can live without him, and i'm happy for that. Starting, things improve, then drop, and maintain again. This is confusing but i sort of know the pattern already. Used to it, understand? Those frustrations still have to come to an end eventually.

I made new friends, virtually, real life, i don't really care. Honestly, at first i wanted a couple to anger him. After awhile i thought that it was stupid, so i stopped. However i don't is it fate or what that i did found one on that day. haha. I wanted t apologize to Sean, cos i think that i've treated him as substitute from the first time we met, in game. BUT i'm very glad that he wasn't like other guys, and most importantly he doesn't text much, a busy guy who always hang out only. GREAT i swear, seriously.

Anw i can't remember after my last update. LOL. I'll try to type as much for those that i can remember then ..

18 sept: er forgot.

19sept, sun: HAPPY 1YR ANNIVERSARY SISTERS ziyang, jes, ws just the 4 of us ^^

Steamboat day, damn there's lots of cheena and the shop is also open by cheena. Can't stand some of their attitudes, daaaa. However overall was not bad luh. :) &, saw ZL that day. for goodness sake i didn't know the shop we're going to is just beside TOPONE ktv and their boss is the same. BWG. he almost stalked me, however stopped by jes n zy. phew....

Dua him for the whole day. I said ttyl but i didn't reply. i didn't reply everyone, xm too, ps :x.

.

.

20sept, mon: ohya, happybirthday sean. LOL.

Well i haven't been sleeping well this week. I don't know why or is it because i've audi-ed too much? Guess so, laughs.

21 sept, tue:

funny. I was just joking w sean, saying that my science sucks and i needed tuition. He offered to tuition me AND ASSUMING that he should be okay since he's sec 4, so oh well we met.

FOR THE FIRST TIME. My mind was saying right i'm nervous right now however i played w him like a mad woman., unexpectedly. haha! he came to find me anyway.

So starting it was like, he waited for me while smoking, and suddenly he stopped replying. After that he was actually caught by police for smoking = =l how unlucky could that be? im jinx man sighed. Sooooo to cheer him up i said lets share one more pack and we reli bought. LOL. (actually it was partly an excuse also nah, hey i haven't been smoking for months already alright!) So.. went to STUDY near my house the RC there, and realize i got scammed by him. Currently he's studying in NA and failed all subjects except for dnt and english. how great = =lll. Vomit blood.

So the STUDY plan sort of fail. & what's even more funny is that he didn't even bring anything. .......

We were just lepak-ing everywhere and he's an old man i swear. Gosh. & keep steal my phone. zzzzz. see my messages somemore!@#$% though i don't mind but i don't feel like showing. LOL. Besides, i think he only saw one msg and is not suppose to see. sighed x2 . crap around and he went back to woodlands to find other friends while i headed home. such a busyman right? That's good !

Anyway, i didn't treat him as a substitute anymore. I treat him as a guy whom i know and i am being myself. I'm happy for that too.

I also realize that i no longer love him that much, though i'll get affected at times.

:)

24sept, thur. Erm, chinese oral, got 32/40. shocking O: @ night, celebrated mother's advance birthday @ thai express @ siglap, near upper coast road. La la la. Was great yeah and had a good laugh too.

Today yeah. 25sept fri.

Nothing much, ew i was angry w sean!!!! damn u bitch -'- fck ni dadali ZZZ LOL why the hell am i so violent oh gosh..... but anw i think we sort of communicate that way & we both know we did no harm to each other :> who would do that i wonder. = =l weird us.

Well. Spend the day.. i got nothing to elaborate. I guess i'm too tired too think now uh.

AND YES JACKY!!!! i got a feeling that.. oh well. can't assume till i see it with my own eyes . ^^

&& lastly, i hand up my passport today. Which means the days of going to laos are reaching soon too. I hope that one week will make me grow more mature. & surprises will be coming. Hopefully? Laughs.

Alright, i have no idea when is my next update. I'm off to audi now, ciaoz. Exams coming, guess i will be 'studying' aft tml I HOPE.

miao~